bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses

http://youtu.be/pn8xjONVOUg


I have started this blog as a kind of self-therapy . Instead of writing in a boring old diary, I have used the internet as a box to deposit my worries/heartaches and other stuff that generally comes with life. Sometimes it helped, other times not so much. But I am glad that I started it all and am still writing, since I have a habit of starting things and then leaving them without finishing. :)

The last few weeks I have been drifting in and out of reality. It's a total blast to get out and experience life at it's best. On the other hand I have never been more overwhelmed with everything in the last few weeks. It's way too much to handle in such a short time period; meeting new people, all-around changes, friends coming and going, exams and books lying around and not having been read. I hope that I will get a break very soon or otherwise I will probably have to cool off somehow. (bungee jumping maybe?)

I love movies which are bittersweet and which not many people even know exist. A prime example for that is "Dogdays" with River Phoenix, but also "Teenage Dirtbag" with Scott M. Foster as the protagonist (or more like antagonist) of the story. Both movies are very different, but still they share this overall feeling: after you have watched the movies, you will feel fulfilled in a certain way. Like you have just learned something (from a movie nonetheless!) and then you start searching for similar movies which give you the same feeling, but mostly they are hard to find and you despair. And then you go back to watching "Game of Thrones" or "Doctor Who" and hope that someday a bold movie director will come, find an awesome screenwriter and a composer and make another one of those bittersweet and beautiful movies, which make you feel all "butterfly-ish" inside. Mhm...

My new fav word is in the subject line. It can basically be used for anything. Here are a few examples in German:

§01 Blubb kann vieles bedeuten, aber auch nichts.
§02 Blubb kann die Materie sein, die uns alle umgibt.
§03 Lebe stets nach den Regeln des Blubbs und du wirst immer fromm bleiben.
§04 Vergiss nie: Blubb regiert die Welt!
§05 Das große Blubb sieht alles!
§06 Blubb wird mit dir sein!
§07 Blubb ist immer bei dir und mit dir!
§08 Auch wenn du denkst du bist am Boden Blubb wird kommen und dir Helfen!
§09 Ein Blubb kommt selten allein.
§10 Blubb ist LOL!!
§11 Blubb?!
§12 Blubb bleibt treu!
§13 Blubb ist heilig.
§14 Blubb ist komisch.
§15 Blubb ist geil.
§16 Blubb ist unabdingbar, wie Murphys Gesetz!
§17 Blubb braucht jeder! (WIRKLICH JEDER)
§18 Du bist Blubb!!
§19 Blubb ist true!
§20 Blubb ist legendär !
§21 "Blubb?" - "Was Sex? OK!"
§22 Bli bla Blubb
§23 Wenn das alles nicht zutrifft, treten § 1-22 in Kraft.

Copyright: not mine, copied it from somewher :D Gotta love it!

Now to sth. completely different:
I am dabbling in politics and I hope that I don't burn my fingers. I am a complete novice in this field and I am a little bit apprehensive that I will botch things up. Hopefully not! Totally looking forward to meeting new people and to enlarge my pool of (fr)enemies. Yeah me! I think I will go and read up on the "History of Socioldemocrats" or something. If everything works out well, maybe world domination isn't so far-fetched after all? *g*

Basically, it sucks! Don't get me wrong. Graz is a lovely city but it can't be compared to Brighton. It was amazing to see my parents and siblings again but were it not for them, Austria would have never seen me again. I hate this country so fucking much! Everywhere I go, just by saying my name, I get immediately judged. I don't want to generalize but most of the Austrians are racists. It's a fact. They don't like foreigners and foreigners don't like them. If you have a job interview, the first thing they look at is, if you are an Austrian citizen (thank god, i am at least that, but if I could I would change it for UK citizenship). Their whole mentality pisses me off! After finishing my uni degree, I'm gone. Bye, bye Austria. My family will just have to deal with it.

I miss Malena, my roommate in Brighton. She is the type of person who lightens up a whole room just by being there and she is one hell of a funny girl. Hopefully she doesn't miss me so much.

Let's face it. It's not Brighton I'm missing. It's the fact that I don't want to face my problems and responsibilities here. I'd rather keep running away. But who wouldn't? I should really stop being soo damn stupid and get on with my life. Start rearraning it and everything will work itself out. At least, that's what I hope for.

Have been doing nothing but watching porn lately. There are sooo many things to do but I have kind of been feeling Shikamaruish (really really lazy) in the last few weeks. That's why I am applying for a job next week. Hopefully everything goes well. Please, dear Almighty God, let me get this goddamn (oops, sry!) job!!!

Am moving to Argentinia. My life has become too messy here!

Puh. This day was pure hell. I am so glad it's almost over. Why are relationships with humans so complicated? Why??? Or is it just that I subconsciously chose to be friends with people who are the most complicated.

So, I have this friend (really really clingy) who wants to move from the current flat whom this person is sharing with a few other people to a own flat. The problem is that this person is expecting just him/her and me and to complete all the necessary things, like moving his/her furniture and stuff like that. I also "have" to drive the XXXLutz moving van. (I haven't driven a car since last year July. But I can do that. I am Wonderwoman. Notice the sarcasm. I am really really afraid to even drive a normal car, much less a fucking van. Told him/her that. Doesn't matter. I have to. )

Also there is no elevator in the new building he/she is going to live in and the flat is on the 3th floor. (It's hell for me and I occasionally do sports.) He/she doesn't want to ask his/her goddamn brother, because the person is too proud to ask something like that from his/her dear brother. But it seems it's okay that I help him/her. I am just a friend, so it's practically a requirement that I help this person with everything. Fuck this!

I think this friendship of ours is over for good. I will be happy if I never see this person again. Hopefully!

The only thing that bothers/interests me now is the conflict in Gaza. It's all I can thing of day 'n night. It's horrible. I am having nightmares, even if I usually don't tend to have those. I can't understand how almost the whole world can look away from this massacre. Yes, massacre. That's what it is in my eyes. I guess people think it's okay if a "few" Arabs die, as long as no Israelis/Americans/Europeans die. It makes my stomach churn when somebody sides with Israel. Someone really has to be an ignorant fool, not to see what is really going on. I have survived a war and I am thanking God that I can barely remember it but what's with the thousands of children in Gaza who lost their relatives etc. and who are traumatized for life? Don't they have a right to live?

Shame on you, Israel, USA & Europe!

Words fail me to describe such an act of inhumanity. My prayers go out to the innocents in Gaza.

Imagine being on vacation somewhere foreign and meeting a girl you can totally bond with. You are sharing great laughs, having "fun" with her and you’re totally thinking she is the “one”. You share a wonderful vacation with another soul in time. But everything must end and so you both have to depart to your respective home countries. She to Finland, you to Austria but you both have each others email address. After months of email contact you both decide it’s time to see each other again. So you take all of your savings and spend it on a flight to Finland. She is supposed to pick you up at the airport. But imagine your surprise when she doesn’t show up at all. She doesn’t show up after 58 minutes and she doesn’t shop up after 3h 44 minutes. She doesn’t show up at all. How dumb you must have felt. But every experience is worth making. After all we learn from our mistakes. Don’t we?