bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses

Last week I met a former high school colleague of mine and we absolutely had a wonderful evening together. She's one of those girls you can talk about everything, even if you didn't see her for like 7 years. I kind of appreciate that about her. So she's studying in Klagenfurt and majoring in Psychology. Back then I can remember that she wanted to become a kindergarten teacher, but looks like it didn't work out for her. She has a great body by the way, really athlethic. If she weren't already in a relationship, I wouldn't mind making out with her. I am totally the type to fall for blonde-haired girls and she is also a natural blonde on top of that. She seems really happy.

Sometimes I wish other people around me weren't so happy. Maybe then, but only maybe I would'nt feel so deflated all the time. I don't really know what to do with my life. I am studying now and I really enjoy my studies, but still, I think that there is more to life than just studying and getting grades and that stuff. The problem is that I have no fricking idea what else there is. I know I am not the person for long-term relationships, that's way I don't "indulge" in relationships. Or maybe I am just too afraid of being near someone and then getting backstabbed or something ludicrous like that. I have friends and great ones too, but they can't really help me with my own life. My life is just my own and only I can make something out of it. I just wish that I knew what...